tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48067554483787671942024-03-20T16:15:36.243-06:00adding a little KingdomThomas Ryan Kushnerickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17895086515588990452noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806755448378767194.post-70704238329171416442015-03-21T23:19:00.000-06:002015-03-21T23:26:26.704-06:0040 DaysToday marked 40 days since I broke my arm.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9VSIOhza5WER7s79wCmwsNPItBmICZIhXgbF2s6DLIlZ2PTMSaHNwa4CUtsiO1XFhjPOy2j7SxIQozFFooHzthRy1UE02NhUm6ZAPXQfI68omKT-gZLtabl-Gjpw3azKyGhtuHtbrEouE/s1600/plate.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9VSIOhza5WER7s79wCmwsNPItBmICZIhXgbF2s6DLIlZ2PTMSaHNwa4CUtsiO1XFhjPOy2j7SxIQozFFooHzthRy1UE02NhUm6ZAPXQfI68omKT-gZLtabl-Gjpw3azKyGhtuHtbrEouE/s1600/plate.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
The last post I wrote was the night before my surgery, and came out of a place of strength.<br />
<br />
This post is coming out of a place of weakness.<br />
<br />
The surgery did go well. The doctors and therapists are all pleased with my progress. But there are days when it hurts worse, and today was one of those days. <br />
<br />
I've written two prior drafts and scrapped them both because they came out less than honorable. So you're getting this one. It's the best I can do.<br />
<br />
I knew in this process of healing and reestablishing what life would
look like that there would be hard days. But you don't know how hard
those days will hit until they come.<br />
<br />
I'll spare you
many of the details, but I will say this: The last several weeks have
been beating my heart and my mind like two egg yolks about to be used in
a soufflé.<br />
<br />
My doctors and therapists, however pleased they may be with my progress, keep reminding me about my chances of getting back to full motion and capabilities. I took a test this week at therapy, and am at about 67% of where I was before the accident.<br />
<br />
I
keep fighting tooth and nail at work to pick up any kind of progress or
momentum, to no avail. And that's despite being released back to full
time work and a big weekend sale.<br />
<br />
I keep having to haggle with the company covering the workman's compensation claim for numerous reasons, and am getting nowhere with them.<br />
<br />
So between all of these things, it all blew up in my face at work today in a really rather odd turn of events.<br />
<br />
It took every ounce of strength to get dressed this morning and go
into work for the final day of this big sale we were doing to try and make anything come
of it. Then at the morning pep rally for the sales people, they talked
about finding the reason why you were there, and all I could think about
were my wife and kids. And about how every single day my kids ask me if
I have sold a car, because they know that's how I earn money at this
job. And about how my answers have been either "No" "Not today" or "Technically, yes" every day I've been back. And about how I
really had no idea why I was doing it at all anymore, because it all
seemed so fruitless. They made everybody chant things like "Today is my
day" and "I've got this" and all I could think about was how uncertain I
was of those things. I couldn't even muster up the strength to say the
words aloud with everyone else, but rather to stand with them in silence
wondering if this shell shock would pass and if I'd be able to move on
with the possibility of a successful day, or if I'd just be stuck there all day.<br />
<br />
Then after all the hubbub one of
my coworkers came up to me and asked me how I was. And I immediately
started choking back tears. Which of course, shocked him quite a bit. After some tears and very intense conversations with my managers, one of them let me have the rest of the day to spend with my family in order to try and get better.<br />
I spent the better part of the day between quiet reflection and breaking down.<br />
<br />
Will I and my family be okay? Yes. I do trust
and believe that all things do (still) work for the good of those who
love God and are called according to His purpose. And that's me. And my
family.<br />
<br />
Do I know how we'll be okay? Right now, no. But I made the choice today to not worry about
tomorrow and all of it's questions. I chose to enjoy my family and the
time I had with them. And it made a difference.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE3-dHLrJL2qum5CdsSGhGnr5NoLZePB4bqfoHMpT4XSEgq4PR3cRQM6YXTGAZlXQ0EbtsFfVAjeWjrhBT1nQzBmwaLruyWxJPBVNU4VPHGfo30alp2WomZSrBmULq6-J2Ru7Tj95YyRTn/s1600/baddaysforthebestdays.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE3-dHLrJL2qum5CdsSGhGnr5NoLZePB4bqfoHMpT4XSEgq4PR3cRQM6YXTGAZlXQ0EbtsFfVAjeWjrhBT1nQzBmwaLruyWxJPBVNU4VPHGfo30alp2WomZSrBmULq6-J2Ru7Tj95YyRTn/s1600/baddaysforthebestdays.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
Thomas Ryan Kushnerickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17895086515588990452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806755448378767194.post-71681826063652039312015-02-12T19:01:00.001-07:002015-02-12T21:01:09.335-07:00In the Blink of an Eye<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/10981657_10205958603543994_8992691502012515010_n.jpg?oh=30419449420ad2e0634b8ad6f74ab1d1&oe=555C0B1B&__gda__=1431077732_5bb6b4be8fae969b45d34fb7ce194298" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/10981657_10205958603543994_8992691502012515010_n.jpg?oh=30419449420ad2e0634b8ad6f74ab1d1&oe=555C0B1B&__gda__=1431077732_5bb6b4be8fae969b45d34fb7ce194298" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Let's just lay this on the table first: I broke my elbow.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The X-ray you see here is of my bones taken on Monday.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Technically speaking, it's a type two radial head fracture of my left arm.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">If you're shocked: don't worry because you're not alone. I'm surprised myself. I walked away from a rollover car crash with rug-burn on my knees. I trip and fall while running in a parking lot at work and break my arm. These two scenarios when compared make no sense to me.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I'm sitting on my couch on the eve of Friday the 13th, which will be the day I go into surgery to repair my elbow. </span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">And yes, I'm typing with only one hand. So you know I really have something to say.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The fall happened so fast on Monday that I had no idea what was going on or what had happened until I was already on the ground. I'll spare you all of the boring details. And when I say "boring" I mean it. I've had numerous people encourage me to come up with a better story. The point is, it was just as quick as the flap of a hummingbird's wings. It felt like I was already on the ground trying to figure out what happened before I even heard the commotion of everything happening. But in what was just the snap of your fingers, my life would never be the same again. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">What I'd like to share with you is how all of this had made me feel over the last four days.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">My life changed in a flash, and it will never be the same. My orthopedic surgeon was advising me that he will most likely have to install a plate into my arm so that it can heal properly, and that only if there are complications down the road it will be removed. He went on to tell me how this plate will make me a better weatherman than the local tv personalities. He also went on to say that the sensation of that plate moving across bone is one of the most wild feelings in the world according to his patients, and that because my break is on a joint I should expect that feeling. The scar will always be there. The statistic is that only between 5-10% regain full mobility from this type of surgery. My step mom had a similar surgery as this when I was a kid, and had permanent damage to her elbow and her nerves in her arm. These are the kinds of things (along with my medication) that have often left me nauseous over the last several days.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I've watched my kids run in our little parking lot since Monday and it's hard to not get scared that the same dumb thing that happened to me won't happen to one of them. And then I think about the dreams we have for each of them. They all asked me last week when the next time we could go rock climbing would be. We had all made plans to start dancing classes (yes, all five of us) before the end of the year. I can't even wrap my arms around a single one of these four wonderful people that I love with all my heart. Everything is on hold right now, and we're all waiting too see how this is going to go tomorrow.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Is this surgery the end of the world? Absolutely not.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Am I scared? Absolutely.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I could make you a list a mile long of "what if" questions that have crossed my mind that are nothing but torturous worst case scenarios. But this isn't that blog post.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">This blog post is a promise that I am not resigning to "what if" questions, worst case scenarios, or my minimal chances of being okay based on statistics. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="http://www.sixpackfactory.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/the-pain-you-feel-today1-263x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.sixpackfactory.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/the-pain-you-feel-today1-263x300.jpg" /> </a><a href="http://www.sixpackfactory.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/the-pain-you-feel-today1-263x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">If I wasn't afraid then I would not have the opportunity to have courage.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">This blog post is to let you know that I overcome, and that is exactly what I am planning for this blink of an eye that forever changed my life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I am a son of God, and I am a champion that was created by design. The Lord is on my side, and I am not giving up the fight that is within me. As I believe His love for me is greater than I could ever dare to imagine or ask, this is just a great opportunity for that love to be made real for me in a new way. I don't know all of the answers as to why or how at this point, but I do have the confidence that this is all going to work together for the best possible future for me and my family. When others may find themselves cowering under the circumstances we are facing, I am in my finest hour.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">It hasn't always been that way. But then again, I didn't always understand the significance of the Garden of Gethsemane on the night when Jesus was arrested. Jesus didn't want to walk the road before Him, because He understood all that it would entail. I don't want to walk this road, and I have no clue what tomorrow holds. But there are some things I do know. I know my Jesus is the one who calms the storms of my heart. I know my Daddy has put my Shellie by my side to be the one holding my hand and laughing with me along this road of life. I know I have my three mini people that bring me such great joy regardless of what all else is going on in my day. I know beyond them, I am still surrounded by a great multitude of amazing people that love me and my family, and that we are not alone on this road.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/10958726_10152684987233741_7817037456609895062_n.jpg?oh=bb7516952f09efbc610571c8d3e272a2&oe=555D7770" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/10958726_10152684987233741_7817037456609895062_n.jpg?oh=bb7516952f09efbc610571c8d3e272a2&oe=555D7770" width="275" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I overcome.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">That's just what I do, because I am just like my Daddy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">My first real month of selling cars I was ranked #1 in my store.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I raised $3,400 in one week to go on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">My first time going out fly fishing I came away with the biggest fish that weekend.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I dislocated my knee three times in one weekend, and bounced back with no permanent damage.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">All of this and so much more in only due to the grace which God has given me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">This flutter in the history of my life will be here and gone again in a flash. And then I'll be reflecting on it come December and laughing with Shellie about how insane and how great this time was, and how our lives will never be the same because of it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Our lives will forever be better because of this blink of an eye.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">"You don't have to be a fantastic hero to do certain things...
You can be just an ordinary chap, sufficiently motivated to reach
challenging goals. The intense effort, the giving of everything you've
got, is a very pleasant bonus." ~ Sir Edmund Hillary</span></span>Thomas Ryan Kushnerickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17895086515588990452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806755448378767194.post-47452100042319339702014-12-22T00:58:00.000-07:002014-12-22T00:58:49.735-07:00My Year in Detox<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhznQQh1GQhnEC-vSlDI6OjRe2pJ3WDXgBSL7ZEKZRxTwNNCA-HTFZJEGYcpLhYDdiAUkyOq91PS4YDf9RSMnFMIhtTa0Ow3ZKdQLJD1n7kGH8OMZfIVr53ImDLnKRwaomo8Izzcl20aEMJ/s1600/idrugaddict.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhznQQh1GQhnEC-vSlDI6OjRe2pJ3WDXgBSL7ZEKZRxTwNNCA-HTFZJEGYcpLhYDdiAUkyOq91PS4YDf9RSMnFMIhtTa0Ow3ZKdQLJD1n7kGH8OMZfIVr53ImDLnKRwaomo8Izzcl20aEMJ/s1600/idrugaddict.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I was an addict. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">My addiction was ministry.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">There. I said it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">If you have a problem understanding plain English, let me put it religiously: Ministry was my idol.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I did not grow up in a church or as a believer. Yes, those two can be separate things. I committed my life to following Jesus when I was in high school. After that, I did the only thing that seemed logical based on what I could see other believers doing around me: plugging into the machine that is organized ministry. It was safe, because then I would probably get into less trouble. Granted, it didn't keep me out of all trouble. I served as a volunteer in the youth ministry I was a part of in high school. I went on overseas mission trips to four countries in just as many continents. I interned at a ministry after high school for two years. I have served on the audio/visual team for a fellowship in every state I have lived. I participated in and directed drama ministries. I structured and built a youth ministry from the ground up. I organized and executed local mission trips in the city I lived. The list goes on from there. I'm not saying I did these all in my own strength or by myself. I just know there are some of you out there who don't know my ministerial resume, and the statements I just made in regards to my addiction have no context. So now you know.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The first time I realized I was on a path to destruction was one night over three years ago. I was listening to a podcast talking about the difference between worshiping the Creator and worshiping a creation. The point of interest came when the subject of how it is possible to pour our life out for a ministry and have that thing be more important to our heart than our flesh and blood family, or worse yet God Himself. Several amazing men were considered among the best preachers but worst family men, including A. W. Tozer, John Wesley, and plenty more. It's hard now to see these men as anything other than some of the most glorified idolators in Church history. After all, idolatry is just putting anything in a place of our hearts where it gets more attention than God Himself. It struck a very sensitive chord in my heart.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">It's one thing to say "God first, family second, ministry third." It's entirely different to actually put your actions where your words are when it comes to that. You can have a way of thinking in regards to something, but lack the reality of that very same thing. In case you need it said religiously: you can have a theology that doesn't line up with your reality.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">It's kind of like the <a href="http://youtu.be/mjEcj8KpuJw" target="_blank">Black Knight</a> from Monty Python.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXtB1sX40DBxxqhUmahT6BBVrVxlpWa9jfYbHOGIsOb-Vh88IzvtNjMaF-YoCxJCeqx3X3EvjBohN4rFVonIUfL_HDhPYVRKpro6C793Dd75NVxutYDskXa9jBvoHMmvSpS3g6aiD_Ux0Q/s1600/BlackKinght1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXtB1sX40DBxxqhUmahT6BBVrVxlpWa9jfYbHOGIsOb-Vh88IzvtNjMaF-YoCxJCeqx3X3EvjBohN4rFVonIUfL_HDhPYVRKpro6C793Dd75NVxutYDskXa9jBvoHMmvSpS3g6aiD_Ux0Q/s1600/BlackKinght1.jpg" height="220" width="400" /></a> <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">It started off all noble, as though he had been tasked with a great mission. "None shall pass!" Then it progressed from there to him losing an arm. What was his response? "Tis but a scratch!" and then "I've had worse." So they fight more, and he loses another arm. What was his response then? To proclaim that he does still have arms left, despite the spurting proof contrary to that. It finally reaches to the point where he loses another appendage, and he barely has a leg to stand on (see what I did there), but he yells "I'm invincible!" He is met with a very aptly put "You're a looney."</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I listened to that podcast and I thought to myself "Self, this whole ministry is an idol thing is really bad. Don't let that happen to you." But I kept barreling deeper into the arms of my addiction. I just kept ignoring a few key indicators in my own life. Like how my wife's spiritual, emotional, and physical health was declining a bit. Or how my kids would get upset when I would say I was headed to church and they'd say something like "You're going to youth group again? When am I going to get to spend time with you, daddy?" Or how one of my daughters would say something like "I don't want angry daddy anymore." Or how I felt more at ease with people I would only spend two hours a week with instead of the woman who shared my bed. It was only a matter of time before somebody looked me in the face as I was hopping about like a madman in my own distorted reality and said "You're a looney" to me. That man was <a href="http://www.timandlaurie.org/" target="_blank">Tim Thornton</a>.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Tim shared his heart with me regarding how <a href="http://www.timewithdoug.com/" target="_blank">Doug Roberts</a> told him one day long ago, "It sounds like ministry is your idol, Tim." And I thought "Wow, I hope I never get to that place" despite already missing a couple arms amidst my lunacy. My relationship with Tim grew over the span of a year or so before he finally dropped that bomb on me that ministry was my idol. He dissected my own words to show me how that was true, and Holy Spirit had tilled the soil of my heart long enough for me to receive that truth without yelling back "Right, I'll do you for that!" or any such nonsense. So I hopped off the crazy train and got on the path to healing / addiction recovery / idol smashing. He used inspiring and encouraging words like "You are a great man, and you have a beautiful family. You and your family need to be a priority. You should stop running you and your family's health over in the name of ministry. The Lord is sovereign enough that He can still do what He wants to do, even if you aren't the one doing it. If you want to know what ministry should be, it should come from a place where you and your whole family are in such a great place of love and health, and everything in your life is going so swimmingly well that there is just an abundant overflow of love to be shared. That place of overflow is where ministry should happen." So at least he used a foam covered brick to whack me upside the head a bit, which helped with my decision making process.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">To fully stop the insanity, we had to start telling people and start stepping back from commitments to ministry as we understood it. The amount of grace and love we were met with by those around us was amazing and unprecedented for our family. Props go to <a href="http://idestinychurch.com/" target="_blank">Destiny Church</a>, and especially to <a href="http://chrisdavis.cc/" target="_blank">Chris</a> and <a href="http://byhannahdavis.com/" target="_blank">Hannah</a> Davis for their love, grace, and support during that great crisis for my heart.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">It was after a full year from then that I cautiously started approaching the notion of moving into ministry again. But I could see a little more clearly at that point that I was anxious to step into any kind of ministry, regardless of whether it was what the Lord had for me to do or not. The more I sought His heart out for me, the more I realized I needed more time to lay some foundations in my heart and to fully uproot the possibility for the return of this addiction. It was as if I had just taken a year off the addiction and was about to walk right back into the throws of passionate pouring out of myself for the thing without ever taking time to learn why the thing was so important to me in my heart. The more I thought about it, the more I had this sense that God had bigger things for me and that it was a strategy of the enemy of my soul to get me tied off to some good thing for me to do that would not have been the best thing for me to do.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I needed to find out who God really was. I needed to find out how He really felt about me, regardless of what I could do for Him. I needed to find out who I was. I needed to find out why the things I did mattered so much more to me than the One in whose name I was doing those things. I didn't know it, but God had the <a href="http://www.benpasley.com/kingdom-iq-roots/" target="_blank">Kingdom IQ</a> in store for me to help with that.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">It's been a year since my family and I moved out to Colorado Springs in order to be closer to Tim and his family. It's been a year since I have considered the possibility of ministry. It's been the best year of my married life. It's been the year where I put my actions where my words were in regards to putting God first and then my family. And aside from those two things, there hasn't been much of anything else. I still got excited about the Godzilla movie. I still performed on stage. I still welcomed people into my home. So I was still me. But I was a better me than I had been for years and years.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I've been reminded of why my wife started out as my best friend this year. I've remembered why each one of my three kids are a tremendous blessing to me. I've read more books over this last year than I have in the nine years prior to it. I have shepherded the hearts of my wife and children this year more faithfully than I ever have. My wife is laughing and loving more now than she has since before we were married. My children for the first time in their lives know without a doubt that there are only two things in this world more important to me than them: our God and their mother. I truly know for the first time in my life that my worth is found as a son of God and who He has made me to be, in comparison to what I can do, or how I can serve, or anything else.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">It was kind of a big year.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">This all came through lots of tears, hard conversations, deep uprooting of some nasty stuff in my heart, prayer, worship, and getting made fun of for thinking it would be better to roll around with the pigs in their slop than to be at home with my Daddy.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I'm not saying the journey is over. There's still ground to lay hold of in my heart for the Kingdom. But a son is always a son, and a son realizes it's more about who you are than what you do. Joshua knew the battle was won long before he fought his first battle or built his home in the Promised Land. So all I'm saying is that I know the battle is won, and that my Daddy has a home for me. And my home is not built on the work of my hands, but rather on the strength of His great love for me.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">My name is Thomas Ryan Matthew Kushnerick, and I have been clean from idolatrous ministry for over one year.</span></div>
Thomas Ryan Kushnerickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17895086515588990452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806755448378767194.post-14511811417823668442012-07-27T23:28:00.001-06:002012-07-27T23:29:34.830-06:00Starting out with a bang.We as a family made it safe to our new home in Louisville, KY.<br /><br />Here is just a piece of our family adventure getting here. Machelle will probably blog about this in greater detail in the time to come.<br /><br />As we were approaching the last 15 minutes of our over 1400 mile family adventure, we drove into a genuine rain storm. Then we started seeing lightning. Now to some of you out there, this would be a bad thing. But my wife and I love rain and storms. We certainly enjoyed it, despite the rain obscuring our windshields.<br /><br />When we actually drove into Kentucky we could tell the lightning was very close, as there was no real break from when we saw the lightning to when we heard it.<br /><br />Then it dawned on me: it's like the Lord is throwing us a party for having made it safely! He is such a good Daddy, after all...<br /><br />As a matter of fact, the party He was throwing was so great that he blew out the power for over 9,000 homes, including that of our own new apartment.<br /><br />We had some great people there ready to help us unload our moving truck and all, but under the circumstances we had concluded to hold off until tomorrow for safety and sanity's sake. So we as a family are holed up in a hotel for the night, safe, sound, and showered.<br /><br />I am wholeheartedly thankful to those who showed up to spend that little bit of time with us today, and look forward to all of the continuing time we now get to spend together.<br /><br />All in all, I have to admit that this is all just the goodness of the Lord. Even if my children snore.<br /><br /><br /><center><a href='http://photo.blogpressapp.com/show_photo.php?p=12/07/27/4449.jpg'><img src='http://photo.blogpressapp.com/photos/12/07/27/s_4449.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br />Thomas Ryan Kushnerickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17895086515588990452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806755448378767194.post-62656716758822464332012-05-14T06:30:00.001-06:002012-05-14T06:42:26.364-06:00Honeycomb TombsI have recently had the unique and wonderful privilege to listen to the new album Honeycomb Tombs by Karla Adolphe. Seeing as how I know this album will be one to stay in my music catalog for the foreseeable future, I wanted to share a little about it with you.<br /><br />It was made with the desire to be for people who at some point in their life have faced grief of some kind. Be that grief the death of a loved one, the undesired change of a season in life, the longing for hope where there seems to be none, or of any other kind, everyone faces grief in their life. The music that Karla and her team have poured themselves into touches the very depths of who you are, and does so lovingly, gently, and gracefully.<br /><br />The music itself is absolutely unforgettable. Each song is like a story told through beauty and pain, and that is the very cry you often see in the book of Psalms. From the soulful cries to the soft melodies, the album truly enables you to feel every movement of this emotional symphony.<br /><br />From the deep desire left seemingly unmet in "Who Can Hold Me" through the longing for hope in "Ice Road" it is difficult to remain disengaged while listening. If misery could be crafted into a lullaby, "Invisible Lines" would be it. The whole song plays out achingly, like a lyrical dance of mourning. It is just waiting for somebody to choreograph a contemporary dance piece to it.<br /><br />The art, passion, and care which has been poured out into making this album by all that were involved is sewn all throughout the audio tapestry. It is easy to see why the album's name is taken from the heart of the song "Flying Low," as it talks about breaking free from honeycomb tombs, because this album will be a collection of anthems for freedom, hope, and life through burdens and despairs, and beyond them all. Truly, this album is a taste of what beauty for ashes is all about.<br /><br />One of the best parts about this album is that it is for free, so go on over <a target="_blank" href="http://www.karlaadolphe.ca">here</a> on May 15th and get yourself a free copy of this album. Then after you have done that, tell everyone else you know about it and send them over to Karla's website to get their own copy. If you want to know more about the album itself, or how to get the word out more, email her at karla@karlaadolphe.ca<br /><br />As always, you can feel free to share here what your thoughts are as well about this truly beautiful album, put together by this truly beautiful lover of Jesus.<br /><br />Thomas Ryan Kushnerickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17895086515588990452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806755448378767194.post-55228377284752929302012-05-03T04:23:00.001-06:002012-05-04T07:33:39.701-06:00An American MissionaryIt was 13 years ago now that I first surrendered my life to Jesus.<br /><br />It was only one year later that I surrendered my life to missions, and seeing the world loved and changed in the name of Jesus and by His power at work in me and through me.<br /><br />It was now only 9 years since the Lord Himself shattered my dreams and revealed to me that I was meant to stay long term here in the United States of America according to His plan. The good news for that is I know that as a piece of that plan, I was still called and equipped to go overseas and meet the needs there, but more on a short term basis than a long one.<br /><br />The summer of 2003 was the last mission trip that I went on, to Botswana Africa. Now in the summer of 2012 I will be taking a group overseas to <a target="_blank" href="http://www.globalexpeditions.com/mission-trips/summer-trips/asia/thailand/">Thailand</a> on a month long mission trip, including my wife Machelle; our three kids Kylee, Chloe, and Josiah; three of the youth in the ministry we have been leading for over four years Andrew, Andrea, and Julia; and many more wonderful people that we have yet to meet.<br /><br />If you'd like to help us get there, you can donate to the trip online <a target="_blank" href="http://www.globalexpeditions.com/donate">here</a> and be sure to use our group ID 2659982 once you get there.<br /><br />Once we get back stateside, my family and I will be moving on into the next season the Lord has for us...<br /><br />We are moving to Louisville, Kentucky to join the pastoral team of <a target="_blank" href="http://idestinychurch.com">Destiny Church</a> in the Highlands out there.<br /><br />If you want more information on us specifically as a part of Destiny, you can go to <a target="_blank" href="http://idestinychurch.com/kushnerick">our site</a> and check it out. We also have a breakdown on the site for what we need in order to get there.<br /><br />We know the Lord has had us here in Grand Junction, Colorado for a good reason. We have come to know many wonderful people, and are greatly looking forward to continuing those relationships.<br /><br />We are also greatly looking forward to these next steps the Lord has for us as a family, too.<br /><br />I know that this is all beautifully orchestrated by the Lord, so as to fulfill His full and wonderful plan for our lives.<br /><br />Looking back, I see now that from the very beginning I was called to be an American missionary. The people here in the states need reaching out to, and a desire to also reach out themselves. So this is just me embracing my call. I am fully surrendered to missions. First comes Thailand. Then comes Destiny Church in Louisville, KY. Then... There are no limits.<br /><br />Thomas Ryan Kushnerickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17895086515588990452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806755448378767194.post-79959043905837503682012-04-16T21:56:00.001-06:002012-04-16T22:10:30.486-06:00We're going to Thailand!This family update has been a long time coming.<br /><br />On July 5th, all five of us in our family plus three of the youth in our ministry are leaving for a month long mission trip to Thailand. We will start and end our journey briefly in Texas, where we will be meeting the rest of our team that is going, and receiving the necessary training to be the most effective we possibly can while in country.<br /><br />We are all very excited about being able to travel the globe as a family, especially knowing it will all be for the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. Even the kids can show you where Thailand is on our little bouncy globe. We know the Lord is calling us there for many different reasons. Certainly one of the greatest reasons is because of the dire need that is found there.<br /><br />For info on the trip go here: http://www.globalexpeditions.com/mission-trips/summer-trips/asia/thailand/ If you select "Quick Facts" you will see details about Thai culture and how to pray. <br /><br />We have been doing fundraisers since the summer of 2011 for getting us over there, but we still have a long way to go financially. As we write this (April 16th) we have 80 days left before we leave, and we need your help to make it there. Be it through prayer and/or financial support, we want to offer you the chance to partner with us and with the Lord for what He is going to do this summer.<br /><br />If you are interested in helping through prayer support, send us a private message and we will put you on our prayer team newsletter.<br /><br />If you are interested in helping through financial support, you can go to Global Expeditions' website and donate directly to us there. The direct link is http://www.globalexpeditions.com/donate/ and our Group ID to donate to is 2659982, so feel free to do so as soon as possible! We need roughly $4400 per person, so any and all gifts are fully welcomed and appreciated!<br /><br />If you have any questions, feel free to let us know. We will definitely be keeping you updated as we prepare to go change the world, and while we are over there too!<br /><br />Thomas Ryan Kushnerickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17895086515588990452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806755448378767194.post-23014926948507366792011-11-18T20:57:00.004-07:002011-11-18T21:55:39.541-07:00Parables for Dummies<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">I get it now. It's effectively taken me 12.5 years, but I get it. Well... at least a part of it... finally.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">I've been learning a lot about </span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;font-size:180%;" >the Kingdom</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"> </span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >recently.<br /><br />And I've been learning a lot about <span style="font-size:180%;">people<span style="font-size:100%;"> recently.<br /><br /></span></span>Fascinatingly enough, the two go hand in hand.<br /><br />I was listening to a podcast by Ben Pasley tonight about pastoring and what it should look like, when he just briefly mentioned what is traditionally called the parable of the talents. This is found in Matthew 25:14-30, and there is a very similar yet different parable in Luke 19:11-27 also. He was mentioning this in passing in light of how pastors should be faithful with the people under their care, as this passage is well used in helping us as followers of Christ understand we must be faithful with what we have been given. Then a light bulb went off and I had to stop the podcast because he was moving on, and I was not yet ready.<br /><br />"The parable is about people!" I exclaimed.<br /><br />As we pursue the Kingdom of God, we realize it is comprised of people. It is all about people. Jesus was always all about people. <span style="font-size:180%;">The Kingdom is about people.<span style="font-size:100%;"> The Lord doesn't want an institution or a building or an organization, or even Heaven itself (that's why He left it, after all: He didn't want it in comparison to being able to have people, and now He will have both Heaven and people because He gave up that which He had to obtain that which He did not). The Lord desires people.</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><br />The parable of the talents is about the Kingdom. The very premise Jesus starts it with is "Again, it <span style="font-style: italic;">(the Kingdom)</span> will be like..." and then He tells His story.<span style="font-size:180%;"> The parable is about people!<span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br />Let's look at some highlights here from the Matthew passage to illuminate the true heart of God...<br /></span></span></span></span></span><ul style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><li>v. 14 "a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them" // The man is Jesus, those who have chosen to follow Him are (obviously) His servants, and His property is... you guessed it: people. Technically speaking, all of Heaven and Earth is now His because of the victory won only in His life and death and life. Yes: the mountains bow down and the seas roar at His name. <span style="font-size:180%;">All of creation sings His praise. But the rocks cry out where there is a lack of His people crying out. He has everything, but cares only for people!</span></li><li><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-size:100%;">v. 15 "he gave... each according to his ability" // We are entrusted with the measure <span style="font-style: italic;">of people</span> to which we are able to be found faithful with. Yes, it says money. But this is a parable! Jesus is saying something bigger here than meets the eye! That bigger thing... is people!</span></span></li><li><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-size:100%;">v. 16 The man who had been given five talents "put his money <span style="font-style: italic;">(his people!)</span> to work and gained five more" // This directly models the great commission! If we are charged with going and replicating other disciples of Christ, that models exactly what a financial investment is! Imagine this luxury: having a $20 bill, and then telling that $20 bill to go make more of itself. This is exactly what Jesus has done! <span style="font-size:180%;">We as people are the reward of His sacrifice! We are His prize! We are His treasure!</span> He bought us at the price of His life! We as people are His property! Jesus is talking about being faithful with people here! Jesus was always about people! He never cared about things! Let's face it: He never really cared about money! <span style="font-size:180%;">If Jesus did care about money, He probably wouldn't have put Judas Iscariot in charge of it!</span></span></span></li><li><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-size:100%;">v. 18 "the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money" // This servant was not faithful with the people he had been entrusted with! <span style="font-size:180%;">How often do we as followers of Christ try to hide what was meant to not be hidden?<span style="font-size:100%;"> By this I mean our lives, our stories, our homes, our food, our fellowship, and the good news of our Lord Jesus Christ itself (and more)?</span></span></span></span></span></span></li></ul><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Go on now and finish reading the parable for yourself, all with the perspective that it is about people. Watch then as the Spirit of God turns your life upside down and inside out, and then urges you to be faithful to invest in the people around you, so that they in turn will make investments into the people around them, and so on and so forth, until the ends of the Earth!</p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">The Lord's delight is in people, and His happiness with us is found in the faithful care of people.</p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">It is no coincidence at all that the parable of the Kingdom immediately following this is about the sheep and the goats. One of which was faithful with people. The other was not faithful with people.</p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">The parable of the talents has nothing to do with talents at all. Can it be applied over to being faithful in all things, such as money and property? Sure. But in the end, the Lord doesn't care about these things. People are made for eternity; money, property, and others alike to these are not made for eternity. This really makes me want to go back through all of the gospels and reread each and every single one of Jesus' parables with this new found understanding.</p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">He who has eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to understand, listen: The Kingdom of God is about people.</p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">100%<br /></p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">So I dare to ask it: <span style="font-size:180%;">are you faithful with the people in your life right now?</span></p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Do you dare to answer it?</p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Do you dare to do something about this?</p><p><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: trebuchet ms;font-size:180%;" >How willing are you to pursue and advance the Kingdom of God?</span><br /></p><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"></span></span></span>Thomas Ryan Kushnerickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17895086515588990452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806755448378767194.post-83672277549341783652011-09-07T13:26:00.001-06:002011-09-07T13:26:44.843-06:00Obey<p>"It's such a funny word: obey." ~Bill Cosby</p><p>When I think about how I want to be remembered, I want to be remembered as a man who loved greatly, worshiped passionately in everything he did, and as a man who obeyed his Lord. I'm sure people will remember me for my laugh, too. I don't really have much control over that, seeing as how I just laugh well and often. When it comes to love and worship, I will probably post some other time about those things. I really want to talk about obeying with you.</p><p>A dear friend and I got into a bit of a discussion recently on obeying. I was teaching the youth ministry I serve that God may call you to do things that don't make sense, and that obedience is always the best answer. My friend and I were chatting later about the lesson, and he admitted he disagreed with me that we may receive a call that goes against logic, comfort, public opinion, and/or common sense.</p><p>My friend confesses that he also is a believer, which perplexes me. If he claims to be a believer, how can he then make a claim of belief which contradicts the stories of the Bible? We can't really claim to be believers if we don't really believe the Lord, or His Word. And as I read the stories of Abraham, David, Peter, Jonah, and so many others, not to mention Jesus Himself, they all did things that people around them would have called crazy or worse.</p><p>They did these things because they realized that God's call and leading was clear for their life, and the best option for them to follow. They did these insane things because they had faith, hope, and love. They had faith that the Lord would prove Himself faithful, no matter the circumstances or difficulties. They had hope in the good future that God had promised them, even if they couldn't see the promises on the horizon. They had love for the God who first loved them that committed to amazing and unbelievable promises for them. These simple things led them to obey and do crazy and awesome things for the Lord God.</p><p>Now, everyone of these guys with the exception of Jesus had times where they failed to believe and obey. I can clearly see that all these people had to fall into God's faithfulness at least once, if not many times in their lives. But they each at least had one defining moment where they stood against everything that made sense except for the voice of the Lord.</p><p>Even when we look at Acts 5:17-42, we see the early church meeting opposition, and counting it joy to face imprisonment and flogging for the sake of obeying the Lord. Verse 29 really puts definite words to it when the apostles say "We must obey God rather than any human authority."</p><p>I'm not saying this to excuse ourselves from submitting to our worldly authority. I am saying this to show that obedience does not always make sense. But obeying is always better than not. To quote a local pastor out here: "Obedience is rarely easy. But it is always fulfilling."</p>I hope you are encouraged to obey the Lord in every area of your life from these simple words. If you have thoughts or stories on obedience, please share them.Thomas Ryan Kushnerickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17895086515588990452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806755448378767194.post-39831971450144969792011-07-10T22:17:00.003-06:002011-07-10T23:32:15.224-06:00The Girl from IpanemaI want to discuss waiting rooms.<br /><br />That is why I named this blog as it is. Whenever I am in a room designated for waiting I always get the song "The Girl from Ipanema" in my head. Maybe The Blues Brothers is to thank for that. But then again, they weren't the only ones to stereotype that song for the "Music to Wait to" category of iTunes. Okay... so there's not that actual music category to shop through. It might not be a bad idea, though. If only I could get a version of this song by Kenny G... that would be the ultimate "Music to Wait to" piece ever! Oh wait... here it is...<br /><br /><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/3V-QL_xZwl8" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" width="425"></iframe><br /><br />I know many people, myself included, who are currently in a waiting room of some kind. Some are waiting for a brand new baby. Some are waiting for a brand new spouse (not that the one they have is bad... they just don't have one yet, and have their eyes set on a *particular* one). Some are waiting for a job. Some are waiting for a test result from a doctor. Some are waiting for a loved one to return to them from a long absence. Some of them are waiting for somebody to do something they said they were going to do. Some of them are waiting for somebody else to do something that they should do, but just don't want to for whatever reason. Some are waiting on a new and fresh touch from the Living God. Some are waiting for the Lord's will to be revealed to them regarding a certain matter or option(s) for the future.<br /><br />As I discuss this matter with many of the people I know, I have discovered that many of them find this place of waiting uncomfortable at best. As a matter of fact, most of them find it worse than uncomfortable. For most people I have found over the years that having to wait causes a severe amount of angst for some reason. That one where you're waiting for the doctor is pretty nerve racking for me. But even more so than that, I find the one where you are waiting for another person most agonizing.<br /><br />So why does this particular one torment me so? Because it is entirely dependent on some other flawed human being to make a choice and do something.<br /><br />In recent years I have not had a good history of people meeting my expectations or desires. I can't remember ever experiencing a lot of that form of satisfaction, come to think of it. But that is quite the picture of human relationships. Jesus would not have made such a big deal about us loving each other if it was just going to come naturally and without effort. But beyond this natural flaw within relationships found commonplace due to the inherent evil of mankind, when I look back I see a history of people who have had great opportunities before them and they chose to refuse them. That choice is beyond my understanding...<br /><br />The Lord provides an opportunity to heal the heart of a wounded man... the man chooses to turn away.<br /><br />There is a chance for a family to grow closer to Jesus together... one family member believes that it's not going to be worth it.<br /><br />A grandparent has a chance to spend time with their grandchildren whom they have never met... and they opt out because they'd just rather not have to put the effort forward.<br /><br />These are the things that drive me crazy... being stuck waiting for people to make decisions that will actually be beneficial instead of harmful.<br /><br />Joshua from the Bible had this same problem. Thankfully he was able to do something about it. In Joshua 18:3 he actually voices this concern: "How long will you wait before you begin to take possession of the land that the LORD, the God of your fathers, has given to you?" At this point, they have the land. It is theirs. They just have not done anything about going and getting it. If you won $5,000,000 in the lottery, wouldn't you go claim your prize as soon as you could in order to enjoy it immediately? If the Lord was offering you freedom and healing in your life in a certain area or areas, wouldn't you go claim your prize as soon as you could in order to enjoy it immediately? If you have an opportunity to have and experience more of the Lord in your life, wouldn't you take it?<br /><br />So why do we wait?<br /><br />I know why the Lord waits sometimes. We, being but dust, are not yet ready sometimes for what He has for us. If I understood the full ramifications right now of my poor decisions and actions I would want to do nothing but die, most likely. Sometimes the soil of our hearts or lives needs to be tilled in order for the seed of something great to be planted. Other times the Lord is waiting on us before He can move. So we are waiting on the Lord, Who is waiting on somebody else. That is a fascinating dynamic. And often times frustrating for me.<br /><br />So again... Why does having to wait on a human frustrate me so? Unlike with the Lord, there is no guarantee that they will make the decision to allow me out of the waiting room.<br /><br />There will come a day when I will no longer have to wait on the Lord. And oh... do I look forward to that day. Every day I look around me to see the goodness of God, and I can find Him all around me. Some days are harder, but I still find Him somehow... even if I have to remind myself that every breath is a gift from Him directly.<br /><br />But as for human induced waiting rooms, I may be left waiting for as long as it is within my power to wait. That thought just stirs up all kinds of dread within me.<br /><br />Ultimately I realize that letting go of these worries is my answer in overcoming this uneasiness. It's not my responsibility to spend my time worrying about whether or not I will remain captive in these waiting rooms. In the end, it really won't matter.<br /><br />But what if...<br /><br />That man decides to allow the Lord to heal him, and that the risk of having relationships is worth the pain he may experience along the way...<br /><br />That family member decides it will be worth it to lay their life down in order for the family to draw nearer to each other and nearer to Jesus...<br /><br />That grandparent realized what they were missing out on and put forth the effort to be with and meet their new loved ones...<br /><br />How much better would this waiting room be that we are all in as we wait for the Lord to return, if we could all tear down the barriers that we have been building up between each other and enjoy our time together as sons and daughters of God?<br /><br />~TomThomas Ryan Kushnerickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17895086515588990452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806755448378767194.post-17376420831728230452011-07-02T01:48:00.001-06:002011-07-02T02:44:46.586-06:00I'm okay with crazy.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpKk_mmA_8DPDU0J5sJ4FD08ifhdsQPun1-du369yhGdw62N55eK4vlLkyy2r5sXexdlWCzGNF-ZtgbSLe2duQDhPrlwoTQVGL8do0_7Ke2YS4I-_ZGh8bn755zV5HfArTRF7wVaGDfewa/s1600/DSCF3592.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpKk_mmA_8DPDU0J5sJ4FD08ifhdsQPun1-du369yhGdw62N55eK4vlLkyy2r5sXexdlWCzGNF-ZtgbSLe2duQDhPrlwoTQVGL8do0_7Ke2YS4I-_ZGh8bn755zV5HfArTRF7wVaGDfewa/s320/DSCF3592.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5624672700388952434" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">First off, I'm choosing trebuchet as my font simply because I have always wanted to own one.<br /><br />Now on to the meaty goodness...<br /><br />If you spend any amount of time with me you will notice that I am... uh... different. I don't do things that an average person would do. I do things an average person would not do. This goes for things I say also. I have never been one to mold to any form of expectation, or personality description, or any other kind of mold... not even the kind that makes penicillin... after all, I'm allergic to that kind of mold.<br /><br />See! There I go!<br /><br /><br />Now in a church setting, not fitting "the mold" (or whatever you want to call it) is frequently looked down upon. That's why most often I will just sit and try to be still in most church settings.<br /><br />For years I have fallen into the understanding that if I am to fully be me that I will be a distraction to the setting around me and keep people from drawing nearer to the Lord.<br /><br />I have come to believe over the weekend at worship@8500 that this is a lie.<br /><br />It's not the things that I do or do not do that bless or encourage or aid in building up the Body of Christ. These things that I have to give are not the gift I have to give. <span style="font-weight: bold;">I am the gift.</span><br /><br />The Lord made me to be the man that I am... crazy and all.<br /><br />As Jack Taylor encouraged all of us there: I need to stop trying to be anybody else but me, because everybody else is already taken.<br /><br />I may be the black sheep, but this black sheep is going to help other black sheep understand that it's okay to be who the Lord made them to be. He longs for all of us to be a part of His Family... whether we are white sheep, black sheep, chartreuse sheep, plaid sheep, or even paisley sheep. He made each and every single one of us unique for a purpose. This is one black sheep who is going to stop trying to paint his wool. Well, now that I consider it... I'm probably more of a wacky design than those. If a sheep could have its wool designed like a Pac-Man board, that would be me.<br /><br />Point is: I'm tired of holding the reigns back on who I am, as I was designed by my Father in Heaven. In addition to that, I am tired of holding back the reigns on the Holy Spirit.<br /><br />I'm letting loose the crazy.<br /><br />I'm not talking about wearing a Hawaiian shirt over plaid shorts kind of crazy...</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I'm just going to be me.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I'm done striving.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I'm done doing.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I'm just going to be. Period.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The traditions, so-called "logic," and expectations of men are no longer going to get in the way of me being a son of my Father in Heaven, a co-heir with Christ, one who is dearly loved by the most amazing Lover of all time, and of me saying "yes" to the Holy Spirit.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I'm always wanting to get excited about things that are worth getting excited about, but I usually don't because nobody else is excited about it.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I'm always wanting to interact with somebody who is giving a good word </span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family:trebuchet ms;" >because it is a good word.</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> If it's a good word, then shouldn't we let them know it? If a musician plays a good piece of music, don't we let them know it? When was the last time we applauded our pastor at the end of a great Sunday service like we would somebody who just sang The National Anthem really well?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I am a son of the Creator of the universe, as He has adopted and grafted me into His family according to His good pleasure and desire. My Daddy loves me. He made me who I am for a reason and a purpose. If you are standing next to me and I make you uncomfortable, maybe that's just because your butt has been doing unnecessary calisthenics for so long that you have forgotten what it is like to be relaxed. Or maybe your spirit has been doing unnecessary calisthenics for so long that you have forgotten, or worse yet never known, what it is to be free of the chains and bondage of aiming for a tradition or expectation of men instead of being a just being a son of your Heavenly Father. I'm sure I make both kinds of people uncomfortable. My goal in life is not to keep you in your comfort zone. God's plan for you is not to keep you in your comfort zone. This is obviously the case, or He would not have put me in your life.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I don't care if you "get me" or not. I do want you to "get" my Lord. If He can love me and make me a part of His family, as crazy as I am, He can do the same for you. As a matter of fact, He </span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family:trebuchet ms;" >wants</span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> to do the same for you.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">God's goal isn't to have a bunch of militant enlistees.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">His goal isn't to have a bunch of slaves and servants or employees.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">God wants a family.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">And He wants you to be a part of it.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">If there's one thing I know about family, being a family man and having one myself, is that every member of a family is crazy in some way.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">So come be crazy with me, in our Father's family.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">It'll be good.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">He promises.</span><br /></span>Thomas Ryan Kushnerickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17895086515588990452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4806755448378767194.post-73035153104341397852011-06-29T02:06:00.001-06:002011-06-29T02:06:19.459-06:00goodbye xanga...I'm jumping on the band wagon. Here is a blog by me. I have too much to say for a simple status update sometimes.<br /><br />Here's a couple of brief notes...<br /><br />My blog title refers to the notion that I need to stop trying to make things better by subtracting the nonbeneficial. Adding more of the Kingdom of God to my life, the lives around me, and everything else I run into can make those things better.<br /><br />This is kind of a test entry to make sure everything works as it's supposed to work. I'll throw down a real post soon.<br /><br />I'll look forward to catching feedback over the course of this blog. Yes... That means *you* out there! Let's enjoy this ride together.<br />Thomas Ryan Kushnerickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17895086515588990452noreply@blogger.com2